Originally Posted by HappiestManAlive
The narcisist/abusive asshole threshold is what keeps me from being the Dom Violet wants me to be. The line isn't clear to me, and I'm scared of it.
There is a lot of good writing about this out there if you're still interested. A good dom negotiates with their sub about what is and isn't permissible behavior for the dom, puts their sub's well-being first and keeps it in mind at all times, and stops when the sub asks for it to stop. An abusive asshole does none of this.
It's also a matter of sensitivity, of knowing your partner well enough to know if you're enriching their life or degrading it.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 01-08-2012 at 02:41 PM.