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Old 01-08-2012, 05:03 AM
KindaPOd KindaPOd is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I don't believe that. It seems there are quite a few things about your wife and your relationship that do bother you, so saying you don't care doesn't quite ring true.
One thing that you and I have in common, is that, unless something dramatic happens, we're both going to stick to our guns on this issue. Don't know if that's a good thing or not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
If you're asking about abuse, unless somebody is reaching out for help or being obviously abused, it's generally smart to mind your own business. She's an adult after all, and probably knows how to find the resources to get out of a situation if she doesn't want to be in it.
I don't care about my wife's sexual activities. I do care about a potentially abused woman. Especially since they usually aren't at their best state of mind.

You're suggesting that I take the route of apathy? At the very least, I'm going to offer a life-line to her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
The other component is that abused people don't always realize they're in abusive relationships, especially with emotional/psychological abuse. Throw that into a BDSM scenario, and it easily enables the abuser to say "this is just part of our S&M play" and for the low self-esteem victim to believe him, despite her feelings that this is wrong or unpleasant.
That's what I'm worried about.

The less subtle abusers tend to vent their stress out on their spouse.

The more subtle types know how to manipulate their spouse(s). Abuse is just one form of manipulation. Saying "it's all just part of the dom/sub relationship" is another.
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