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Old 01-08-2012, 04:18 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,245

Originally Posted by Icewraithonyx View Post
Blatant refusal to even try to educate himself about the subject seems worrisome.
Meh. Some people just aren't big readers. Also, if he feels he wants nothing to do with it, why would he want to educate himself? To use an extreme analogy: If your partner was into molesting children and wanted you to read books about why it was OK to molest children, don't you think your blatant refusal to do so would be completely appropriate?

Originally Posted by PolyKat View Post
As far as him dating someone and how that helps me, I need him to see first hand that he can feel something for another woman and still love me the same. He doesn't have to limit himself or deny himself connections with other people for the sake of not hurting me.
Assuming he is emotionally capable of being polyamorous himself, that is. If he's wired to be monoamorous, then pushing him to love another woman could be a form of rejecting him, because it could mean you're trying to get him to fall out of love with you, to make the break-up easier.

Originally Posted by PolyKat View Post
I choose him. At least now, we have an open line of communication.. and maybe we can renegotioate the terms of our relationship at a later time, but for now, and maybe forever.. he'll do just fine.
It's good that you realize this could be a life-long decision. If he's not even the slightest bit open to the idea before marriage, it's extremely unlikely that he will ever warm up to the idea once the vows are said. Before you walk down that aisle, make sure you're 100% willing to be with only him for the rest of your life. If that changes, great, but it probably won't.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 01-08-2012 at 04:24 AM.
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