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Old 01-08-2012, 03:53 AM
KindaPOd KindaPOd is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 40

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Why do you need to know this ? How will it effect you.
Damn, that's cold DH. And I thought I was the cynical bastard. I need to know because I am a giant boyscout.

What specifically did you ask the wife? I would probably say something like, do you enjoy it when your husband disrespects you in public?
I can't remember exactly what I said. But I was specific. "Do you enjoy this? Is he abusing you? ect."

One thing I do know is that if you ask an abused woman if she is being abused, she's rarely going to say yes. Or she could think that this is none of my business.

Side point, sadist/masochist refers to pain, usually physical. What you're describing, if it is BDSM related and not abusive, would be more Dominant/submissive.
True. Then they have a D/S relationship too.
If she skirted around the issue maybe she thinks its not your business. Maybe you should ask her directly if this is what she is thinking. She could be trying to politely move you on to something else hoping you will drop it.

I agree that this is your issue. If they are not willing to talk about what is going on for them then I would go about it from the perspective of you and your wife's relationship. He could start treating your wife the same way. I would be discussing with my wife what boundries she has around being treated that way. Perhaps she needs to make sure that he knows her boundaries.
Right. She could've been telling me to FO in a nice way. I would've liked her to say "I'm sorry but that's a bit too personal for me to talk about". Instead she sort of trailed off and changed the subject.

My wife is definitely no longer into BDSM. The relationship she has with her bf is relatively vanilla. As far as I know.
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