If she skirted around the issue maybe she thinks its not your business. Maybe you should ask her directly if this is what she is thinking. She could be trying to politely move you on to something else hoping you will drop it.
I agree that this is your issue. If they are not willing to talk about what is going on for them then I would go about it from the perspective of you and your wife's relationship. He could start treating your wife the same way. I would be discussing with my wife what boundries she has around being treated that way. Perhaps she needs to make sure that he knows her boundaries.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM