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Old 01-07-2012, 05:10 PM
KindaPOd KindaPOd is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 40
Default Wife's bf's wife has a cuckquean and SM setup. Dysfunctional or am I being a dumbass?

Thought I'd broaden my horizons and open up on another issue that's been bugging me.

My wife's bf is married. His wife has told me that she is monogamous. The benefit of polyamory for her is that she can watch her husband have sex with other women. The humiliation aspect gets her off. She likes the idea of being inferior.

My wife and I were into BDSM in the past. Sort of lost its "edge" after a while. So I've noticed some similarities between their current relationship and my past relationship.

But from an outside observer's POV, something seems off. The most notable thing is that he publicly and privately disrespects her in many ways. Won't go into it but it's pretty obvious. Makes me uncomfortable.

So, she's clearly the masochist and he's clearly the sadist. What I'm wondering is whether or not this "disrespect" is part of the SM aspect of their relationship. Can't tell if it's all just play to them. I mean, if it's all consensual and this is what she likes, than there's nothing fishy about it.

But I have quite a bit of experience dealing with abusive marriages. Maybe that's why their marriage seems "off". See, I'm getting a narcissist-codependent vibe from them. Very common dynamic in abusive marriages.

I can't look at their relationship objectively. I'm way too emotionally involved to do that. That's what worries me.

Obvious thing to do would be to take the direct route and ask her. I tried that. There were no clear answers. She skirted around the issue. Why?

What do you think?

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
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