My faith is a curious, curious thing to me. I was 'born' Christian, and baptized, in the baptist church; but that was to make grandma happy, as my parents had bailed on the church years before me. As teens, they both saw the hypocrits and decided they could do without. But grandma was a true believer. She always took me to church with her when I was little. Up til I was eight, when she died. I asked my parents to take me after, and they would not. They said I could go, but I would have to walk. It was only two blocks, but it was across a busy street and I was scared. I went, but I got really pissed off at god for it. That was in grandma's town, not where I lived.
As a teen, mom went a Unitarian Universalist church to meet men.
I was in the youth group. It was the first place I had pot. Yah, they call it Liberal Religious Youth for a reason.
As an adult, I've attended a variety of services everywhere, and after twenty years of attendance, I became a member of my Unity church (and then quit going).
I went to a pagan-con (Ancient Ways) and it was fabulous. I met a guy at dinner and he asked how long I'd been pagan. I made like looking at my wrist and said, well, I got here at about 1pm.
Pagan makes sense to me. I understand looking at the earth trying to take meaning from what goes on day to day. I understand ascribing to virtues we interpret from the land and the weather and the animals.
I don't understand blind adherence to ritual in anything. I am a thinking person. That said, I loved the ritual at Unity (it was when it changed that I quit). I love ritual, I can't stand 'true believers'.
My men are fairly staunch atheists, and men of reason and science. One of them feels like he lost his faith while working in the woods (for a LONG time). I don't quite understand it, but I think it's about if god's so great and powerful, why does he allow humans to fuck up the earth so badly.
The other thing is that I've had many 'spiritual experiences'. I've had that piece of my brain light up that tells me 'god's in his heaven and all's right with the world'. I've had experiences that cannot be adequately shared or explained. I like to try, but people just look at me as if I've grown horns. My concept of god is so much bigger than what's described in most religious documents. I have worked out a very personal way to explain the universe to myself, and it supports me and works for me. I wish I could share it, but I think people have to work it out for themselves.
My men say they've not had such experiences. There are plenty of people who have had such experiences that do not call them 'spiritual'. I wonder if some religions stem from that ~ someone (or someones) have such an experience and want everyone to have it, so they preach, do this, and you will have this wonderful experience too (love god, do as god says, meditate, reach enlightenment, get your 70 virgins, whatever)
I don't preach, and my men try not to deride me.