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Old 01-06-2012, 07:16 PM
arondela arondela is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
To be fair to K, she likely knew that other kinky people were there and may not have had any inkling that sister and BIL were the exceptions.
Annabel is correct, K didn't quite understand that my sis and her BF weren't into kink. I didn't exactly stand up and announce it at the party, which actually, maybe I should have done. K is new to the community, and new to experiences like this in general as well. It's really hard for me to place any blame on her given her inexperience.

She also didn't orgasm as the door was closing behind them (although that would be an impressive feat of timing). He continued playing with her for maybe 5-8 minutes or so after they left. It's hard to capture all the minute details of a situation in a post.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie
So, you're letting them both get away with it?

That shit just wouldn't fly with me. Your sister was there, having a conversation, on the same couch - my goodness. You sound a bit desperate, I hate to say, to be putting up with that shit. I would rather choose to have self-respect and people with integrity in my life over potential sex partners. Why so forgiving?
I'm perhaps letting him get away with it, but only if you frame it that way. The way I see it I have 2 options:

1. I can choose to consciously not forgive him, dole out some sort of punishment, and demand we never see her again. Out of that I gain "self-respect" but I also lose out on an opportunity I wanted too, which is in essence punishing myself as well. (Pursuing her alone doesn't hold the same appeal.)

2. My other option is to forgive and let go of things, chalking it up to a very stupid mistake on his part vs. actual lack of integrity or respect. Then both move forward slowly and cautiously together with clearer boundaries. Out of that option is the potential for something really great, which is what I wanted this whole time.

I suppose that could seem like desperation...but let's face it, amazing, attractive, intelligent women who you and your SO are attracted to *and* is attracted to both of you aren't exactly common. Also, I've been very thankful in the past for the times I've made mistakes and been forgiven for them.

It's something I remain excited about, the challenge is overcoming the hurt feelings & personal insecurities stirred, which I'm well on the road to doing.
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