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Old 01-06-2012, 12:55 PM
TheMouseRan TheMouseRan is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond. It means a lot to me, especially right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phy View Post
You said that you talked about a 3way with her to get her to consider the idea. I think that this maybe was a bit counterproductive. The polyamorous stuff is about you, not her. Don't lump her in, trying to get her on board like that can backfire. Because the explicit thing you talked about was just sex and exploration of new sexual encounters, not the pursuit of new relationships. I am not quite sure where your focus lies, maybe she was confused as well. Are you looking for relationships with multiple people or for recreational sexual encounters?
I've had poly relationships in the past and they've made me happy. In fact most of my relationships have been this way, though I didn't have a name for it at the time. Not that I wouldn't be open to exploring my sexuality.

You're right though, I think my approach did more harm than anything. I just wanted to open up with something we could do together ><;

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phy View Post
Have you had the chance to talk about the girl you fell in love with (that one you had to cut out of your life) in depth after/while it happened? Maybe you shouldn't write the possibility off right away and can try to explain yourself a bit firstly.
The situation with the other girl (Megan) is complicated. It started when my girlfriend read about my interest in my Journal... Some times afterward when I started to develop a friendship with her I was reluctant to tell my SO. Stupid, I know. I remember quiet vividly getting coffee with her and having my SO call and ask what I was doing. There was a heavy pause before responding... she was not happy about that (it was indicative of my desire to conceal which was indicative of how I felt about Megan). When I saw her I admitted that I was falling for her, and I made the choice to abruptly shun Megan in order to not loose my SO.

So you're certainly right about to not being open and forward, I consider it to be my core wrong doing. I do try and be open, but it's hard sometimes. When these situations arise it seems that the response is cease and desist or the relationship will end. It's hard to confront that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Phy View Post
Seeking counseling for asking random girls for their picture is a bit much maybe. I also regard the secretive nature of this attempt as more worrisome than the thing itself. Have you been able to explain what was so faszinating about it?
Now I'm more seeking support for dealing with the way that I feel in a strictly Mono relationship. I love my SO deeply, we're perfectly compatible in literally every other way, so it's certainly worth my utmost effort. Though I think I do need help managing my thoughts, drives, etc. For one thing it's apparent that I need to be more transparent more immediately.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phy View Post
Maybe figuring out what it is you need and how you would like to pursue it and then taking your time to talk to your girlfriend about all this stuff would be a great way to start off. And a great possibility to get even closer to her.
She's made it absolutely clear that anything other than Monogamy, for either of us, will do nothing but hurt her. The very thought that I am Poly in our monogamous relationship is hurtful to her. Though when we get through this together I hope it will bring us closer.
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