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Old 01-05-2012, 09:36 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

What? The hell?

Nothing about this is ok, obviously. Your husband is displaying a shocking lack of respect for you by giving this woman a voice in your lives over your objections at such a vulnerable time, when she's already:
- tried to shame you into sex (one strike and you're out when it comes to that in my book)
- insulted you repeatedly for your very natural concerns
- tried to insert herself into your life in highly inappropriate ways (I would never, EVER, try to intrude on grief counseling over the death of someone with whom I was not deeply personally involved, and she didn't even know your child... both she and your husband should be ashamed at this suggestion)

If she's willing to act like this when she's not even involved as more than a friend, what might she be willing to do if she actually had a relationship with your husband? It is NOT OK for your husband to invite someone so disrespectful into your lives, and I can only see it getting worse if it were allowed to continue.

An interest in poly doesn't make your husband a bad person. But he should have brought this to you himself rather than letting his potential new girlfriend explain it to you while telling you what a bad person you are. Jesus Christ, who is that insensitive???

So, what to do now?

Invite your husband to come here and read this thread, and see that experienced polyfolk are appalled. Then tell him that he has crossed a major line and that if he doesn't stop seeing this woman immediately you don't know if you'll be able to stay with him.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.

Last edited by AnnabelMore; 01-05-2012 at 09:38 PM.
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