To update a bit...I reached out to K, and she is pretty horrified/mortified by the situation. I should have done this earlier, instead of trying to leave her out of it. (Lesson learned there.) I had said some things earlier in the night that made her think I had lost interest in playing, so she assumed what he was doing was ok and I just didn't want to be part of it. We're talking it out and I feel better, and I still want to pursue at least friendship before she leaves.
What he did was still a major mistake on his part, and really stupid and selfish. Nothing changes that. The critical thing is it was out of character behavior (selfish/thoughtless), part of what made it so surprising and hurt so much I think. I'm still having twinges of anger, but they have largely subsided from all of the talking. He is very remorseful, he feels terrible about it and was ready to never see her again if that's what I wanted.
(Also, to clarify dingedheart's post above, there was no sex or sexual touching after he went to bed. She snuggled up to him, and that was all.)
Last edited by arondela; 01-05-2012 at 07:04 PM.