Originally Posted by countrygirl
The link to her posting is : http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19612
I guess my thing is that me and my husband have spent four years building our relationship; she has only been around for seven months. I think by "putting us on even footing" that maybe she expects to be where we are emotionally, and I am sorry, but that won't ever happen. I may be wrong for saying that, but I do not know how else to put it.
Whoa here...you were the one who stated that the original idea all of you had was to be on even footing. Now you're saying that won't ever
happen because you and your husband have spent four years building your relationship and she's only 7 months in. To me, that's like saying that I couldn't possibly ever love one friend as much as another because the first friend and I have known each other longer and worked on our friendship longer. Or, I couldn't possibly love my youngest child as much as my oldest child because I have known my oldest longer and therefore spent more time in a relationship with my oldest. Or, how about, I couldn't possibly love my second husband as much as I loved my first husband because I knew my first husband longer and we were married longer. BULL CRAP!!
I sense a need on your behalf to feel special. Or....perhaps it's that when you CHOSE to put aside your needs and feelings to try and accommodate her/them you're now upset because your needs and feelings haven't been met or given enough consideration to "fill you up". Guess whose problem that is??!!