Hi Red, Cindie, Annabel...
We've been doing more reading than posting as is obvious. I (John) suppose our defensive reaction was probably a little premature but we also received a message off the boards that was a little more "insistent" in the explanation of the difference between poly and swinging so we just lumped everyone together in the same pot...that was a good lesson!
Red...we do see some similarities to poly in our closed loop scenario especially with what have become deep long term friendships but that is where the similarities seem to end. Nobody in our group is willing to open up to anything deeper than what is now shared and we respect them all for that. As a group our "rules" have evolved to this point over time, I doubt any would have tried see the connection but we do. As you point out we may already be "past the point" of no return as far as what we're looking for in an emotional relationship, poly feels
right to us. However we would most likely still be open to joining our friends for fun if all partners agreed to allow the relationship to be that open, oddly enough that would still be a closed loop group even with another partner! The confusion in labeling apparently could either be very humorous to some or very troubling to others!!!
We certainly don't question the experience of most of you here, we are as new as babies to this whole concept...BUT...we're not without good judgement skills (well most of the time) and we will not always agree with everyone no matter how long they have been doing something! We are still a little uncomfortable with what we view is merely semantics but "when in Rome...."
You all need to know we very much appreciate your taking the time to offer your honest insight!!!