View Single Post
  #14  
Old 01-04-2012, 07:38 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,793
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tesla View Post
So, while I may have these desires in me, I've have 27 years of the opposite beliefs shoved down my throat.
At the risk of sounding glib... so what? I've had 51 years of repressive conservatism shoved down my throat. We, all of us, live in a monogamous-oriented society in which we are constantly facing a barrage of "find your one and only to live happily ever after" messages in our faces. I agree with polyq4 - that is just an excuse.

Years ago, I went to see an astrologer to have my chart done. This really has nothing to do with astrology, so whether you believe in it or not is irrelevant. What he told me is that, no matter what traits and tendencies we're born with, talents we learn, or environments we grew up in, our job on this earth is to transcend them. He said, "When you look at your chart, it's not enough to say 'oh, that's why I am the way I am.' One must strive to always rise above the hand you have been dealt in life." We all have challenges, but most of them are not insurmountable.

I think what has to happen to transcend these things that we often feel are so burdensome (like a conservative upbringing) is, first, a surrender to what is. You can't fight it - this is what you were given. Then, next, we stand on our own two feet and carve out a life that expresses our individuality. Instead of clinging to old ideas and hurts and belief systems.

Yes, it requires bravery. You have that. You can confront anything you need to.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
Reply With Quote