It's funny, I think it can be easier to accept our partners having different needs/desires from our own in opposite gender relationships. Like, if my bf doesn't want to talk about stuff I may be annoyed but I can think "Oh, he's a dude and that's just how they are, they hate talking about feelings." Whereas if my gf doesn't want to talk I can't soothe myself with that line.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.