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Old 01-04-2012, 05:54 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

Ok... So I ended up talking to Fiona. Because I knew I'd never really be 'over it' unless I had closure (thanks for reiterating, AnnabelMore - and Keith). After the discussion about the play, I finally told her that I just felt like we hadn't had much time for the two of us with the holidays going on, but that I didn't want to say anything because she hadn't shown any signs of feeling the same way. I then told her that I'd been feeling like this and then Keith told me they'd hung out with another couple and she hadn't told me which kind of shocked me. Apparently she thought she told me (not the first time she has completely spaced telling me something - New Year's plans were crazy stressful before my family situation decided them since she forgot to tell me when they had officially decided to stay in Indiana). She sent me this long thing apologizing and saying she just wanted to give me space to make sure I was comfortable with everything (since she was the first one to make a big deal of our feelings) and that instead she made me feel like she didn't want to spend time with me.

Pretty much we've both been trying to read the other one, and we suck at it. I told her we REALLY need to stop doing that, and we just need to TALK. I asked her what she wanted both from me and from the relationship, and she just doesn't know, apparently. She knows I'm special, knows I make her feel special, and she can't imagine her life without me, but she doesn't know what she wants in the future. From me, she just asks that I speak up sooner if something bothers me. More than a fair request.

The only thing that I don't feel like she really responded to enough for my liking is the whole not listening to what I wanted thing. At one point she said something about my opinions being important but didn't really say WHY she ignored my very insistent request that she and Mario take the bed. I suppose it doesn't really matter as long as we've both learned from the whole experience, but I'm still interested.

@AnnabelMore - I kind of ignored the bit about Fiona and Mario possibly needing that closeness in my whole emotional blindness. I did notice it, though, and I'm sure you are partly right. Mario has been VERY supportive of this whole shift in the dynamic of our little group, but at times I can tell that he kind of misses being the direct center of Fiona's attention (minus her son, of course). I didn't think of it this way, but sometimes he does act a little put out when she will choose to sit next to me to cuddle with me instead of sitting next to him to cuddle with him. Normally she'll sit in the middle of us so she can be touching both of us, but not always. Keith suggested (after me telling him about this ) that he thought she may have been just trying to make sure none of us spent the first night of the new year sleeping alone, too. Either way, if she wanted to sleep with her husband, fine, but why not sleep in the bed where I wanted them to be? lol Sounds petty even to me, but I suppose I am too used to getting my way and this is bugging me.
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