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Old 01-04-2012, 03:58 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 605
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
You sound alot like me, serious ALPHA .
Guilty on all counts there

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
It took me awhile to figure out how not to just dismiss others suggestions or plans, just because it didn't fit in with the plans in my head. Now I try a different tactic that seems to work better for everyone. I start with "That's really cool. It's different from what I had in my head, let me think about it a little so I can get everything else to work around it." Then after a little while, I can come back with, "I really need my own space without feeling like people are reading over my shoulder... How can we adjust this to make that happen?" Then wait for them to come back with a solution. Giving up the seeming "control" of fixing everything, was incredibly hard, but made my life with my husband a lot better and took a lot of stress off of me.
I know ... I know, I know, I know It's so hard. Honestly, I know how it should work, but every time something like this happens I just can't see what I am doing. I get when someone points out that this and that was a bit rude, dominant, harsh, whatever you want to call it, but no chance to see this in the moment I open my mouth. Because I am just stating my point of view as I feel the others just did. Why do they have to be so sensitive Just joking, I get where and what the problem is.
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Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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