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Old 01-04-2012, 03:40 AM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
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Originally Posted by Phy View Post
I just said no, I don't want this to be build like that, I don't feel comfortable like this. That was the point when I had my first double quarrel. Both weren't please with my reaction.
You sound alot like me, serious ALPHA .

It took me awhile to figure out how not to just dismiss others suggestions or plans, just because it didn't fit in with the plans in my head. Now I try a different tactic that seems to work better for everyone. I start with "That's really cool. It's different from what I had in my head, let me think about it a little so I can get everything else to work around it." Then after a little while, I can come back with, "I really need my own space without feeling like people are reading over my shoulder... How can we adjust this to make that happen?" Then wait for them to come back with a solution. Giving up the seeming "control" of fixing everything, was incredibly hard, but made my life with my husband a lot better and took a lot of stress off of me.

I'm also one to do a lot of planning and never have the time or MONEY to initiate the project. Glad you guys were able to work things out.
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