Anne, they're not having lovey-dovey relationship conversations. They're friends. They were friends before we met and they'll continue to be friends if our relationship ever ends. I would feel quite immature and rude if I asked him not to talk to her on the phone in front of me. I just don't think it's right and I think it would make him feel worse about the situation. He wants us all to be friends....and (when I'm not being angry or jealous) I do too. I don't think I should feel angry and jealous when he's talking to her on the phone because I know their relationship is platonic at the moment and they're just really catching up as friends.
Maybe you're right, though. Maybe I am trying to "catch" him saying something that will justify my negative emotions. I wouldn't put it past myself to subconsciously do something like that. Sometimes I just like to wallow in my pit of despair and I'll look for anything that will hinder me from climbing out.
The times I'm thinking of that he's been talking to her we've been in the car (so obviously he or I cannot leave the area). And I think that when it happens and we're home on the couch and she calls I think he stays in the room because he doesn't want me to think he's sneaking around behind my back. Almost as if he wants me to see that they only have a friendship....nothing to see here folks, move along.