This topic is exactly why I went looking for a poly forum!
I have never considered myself a jealous person. My husband is free to see/sleep with other people, but he is mono and does not care to. My LDR is also free to see/sleep with other people and it doesn't bother me beyond wishing he lived closer so we could see each other in person more often. I've always said that I would prefer to know ahead of time, but if circumstances don't allow for that, just let me know as soon as possible.
I recently (like last week) discovered that I DO, in fact, have a jealousy issue. I introduced my LDR to an online friend of mine who is poly. I think she's an awesome person and had been telling him for a while that he should get to know her. So he did- and ended up playing with her online soon after. When he told me later, it BOTHERED me.
He and I have talked about it, and figure several factors were at work, like how quickly it happened, and feeling left out of something involving my friend and bf, but mostly I think it comes down to the venue. He lives almost 2,000 miles away, and our relationship takes place mostly online. If he were going out on a date or something, yes I'd miss him and think about him but I'd be glad that he was (hopefully) having fun. It's not like I can be there to go out with him or sleep with him! But playing with someone online, while I was available online, is what got to me the most. It turns out he didn't realize I was available, as he thought other stuff was going on, but that initial gut twist still surprised me.
His last significant relationship really put him through the wringer. We both know he has issues to work through, but it turns out that I do too! Hopefully this turns out to be a good, sort of equalizing thing, rather than making an already complicated situation even more difficult to work through.
(Yes, this is my very first post. I'll head over to the introductions thread next, promise!)