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Old 01-03-2012, 04:51 PM
CautiousLoops CautiousLoops is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15
Angry Unfair family judgement.

I'm in a tough situation. Long story short 4 months ago a family member (FM) caught me out with the OTHER bf, a concept FM does not and will never understand. He immediately lashed out at me - IN FRONT OF other bf - and made me cry. Now, I'm probably just too emotional and obviously never expected to see FM, however, it made FM believe that what I was doing was wrong and that because I cried I was very unhappy in my relationship to seek out somebody else.

Since that time (that relationship has since ended) FM has made it their duty to reprimand my lifestyle. Previous to poly my bf and I had a dont-ask-dont-tell open relationship. This FM learned of this through a friend of mine (great friend) and is now rubbing THAT in my face. Threatening to tell my bf what I was doing. My bf and I are now in a one-on-one relationship with just us, growing and are doing wonderful! FM thinks we are both insanely unhappy because of the past incidents. I dont need him to keep bringing this up to me OR my friends.

I am a big believer, as is my partner, that whats our business is OUR BUSINESS unless we choose to tell people of our lifestyle. I am VERY irked by what is happening because 1. I am private and feel exposed and 2. I dont need drama in my life OR my partners. My biggest problem is that my partner is being unfairly judged and looked at as the bad guy. He treats me like a queen and is the best person in my life. Poly was MY idea for goodness sakes!! I do not want my family to look at him or at us like we are freaks or that we are unhappy - that is SO not the case.

my FM would like to meet tonight because they said they would like to understand where my emotions are at with my partner. I am doing this alone, as I do not feel it right to drag my partner into this bs. I want to know opinions on how to handle this with my FM and let them know that they need to just stay out of it. I dont want to be a complete B about it, but I want them to know that this is none of their concern, although I appreciate theirs.

Lesson learned: keep the dates in the home!!
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