So here I am. 2012!!! What has happened, where am I going? Almost three years into this poly experience. Still crazy in love with 2rings. Still married to an awfully good guy who has the mono misfortune of being married to me. We aren't sexually compatible it seems. This both bothers and relieves me. And the fact that I feel some relief bothers me more.
Still confused and anxious and angered every few weeks being stuck for lack of a better term in the circle of witnessing 2Rings and KTs marriage, manic and unstable imo. Still in a bit of a limbo as far as my place in 2ring's life because of said instability. He's so patient and committed...believe it or not. He tries so hard to keep us both happy, and because of our (mine and KT) inability to truly accept eachother it had been a rough 2011. He had a wonderful Christmas with KT and the kids, they went on a trip. He and I spent NYE together, the first time we ever have celebrated together. It was a lovely day and evening. We came out to some close friends at work. Another scary milestone. But it wasn't meant to be a sustained happiness, and the next day was a blast from the past. So I am struggling. But the difference is today I am looking and concetrating on the positive, and getting the negative out by just writing it down here. We'll see if that exercises the demons.