Having lived in a poly family for almost five years now (I am the other wife u might say) I can only say from experience that in my opinion if uu are ever going to truly feel compersion and happiness as another partner u have to get along and have some kind of love and connection with your metamour. I knew and know that if this is going to last a lifetime, like I intend it to, you have to give a lot of your heart to your metamour too. Now I don't have a sexual relationship with my partners wife but I love her like my wife. To me she is my spouse as much as he is. If u don't have that in depth of acommitment to your metamour then in my opinion (and this is only if you are looking at the long term and esp if you want to live together) your relationship will not have the strength ang oomph to survive the inevitable fights, hard times, illness, etc that comes along in a marriage and relationship. It will get ugly and people will take sides and the already weak foundayion will dissolve without love behind it. I don't think id ever get in a poly relationship if I didn't love and feel committed to my metamour. I think it is unfair and cheats everyone involved. She deserves something out of this too. This is so true if u actually want to live like a big happy family!
30 yr old female college grad.
Second wife of legally married couple for about five years.
Bio mom of two and second mom of three.
Share home, parenting, and finances with family.
"Let me say a little somethin' that's long overdue\Disresepect to women has got to be through\to all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends, you've got all of my love and respect to the end."-Adam Yauch, R.I.P.
Last edited by redpepper; 01-03-2012 at 03:02 PM.