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Old 01-03-2012, 07:00 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Hey NYCindie, I love your post #14 just for the record... its a culmination of many great conversations and years of determining a great deal of "stuff." Thanks for it. I really enjoyed it. As I do a lot of your posts and don't say so just for the record.

Also I am grateful that we all work together on this forum by filling in the blanks where someone else has missed, or explaining in different ways so that people can read things in a different way. I'm pleased that was noticed swm (swmnkdinthervr). Thanks Annabel for adding and saying what I was saying differently.

swm, most of us here came from a long line of trying lots of stuff out, including swinging. Just as NYCindie said. You are welcome here, as is everyone, but please don't think that we are not going to question or only speaking to you. This is a public forum. Its a place for discussion, to learn from each other and to sometimes be pushed into seeing things a different way. Its all in the spirit of "togetherness" not judgment of scolding. If we didn't want you here we would simply stop talking to you. So far the conversation has been enjoyable and interesting... if you are not finding it so then by all means don't write any more. I would hate to think that what we are saying is causing you grief.

For most of us that have been poly for a long time, it is really important to make sure we know that people who come here know that there are differences in many forms of non-monogamy. We also enjoy talking about those differences as a way to understand one another and to explore our own lives. Those of us who have been here awhile have done much exploration and had a lot of discussion about poly.

We have come to understand that poly is different for everyone but follows some general trends... swinging doesn't follow those same trends, but is just as valid and enjoyable for people. As NYCindie said, some poly people swing. I will add to that; some poly people are kinksters, go to cuddle parties, have casual sex, have friends with benefits or intimate friends or just about anything else involved with sex positive culture. There are also poly people who cheat and have affairs also.... and who are sex negative.

Really it all is woven together, but we stick to poly here as much as we can.... as described by the person talking about it. It seems we are all getting a better understanding of what poly means to you. In fact, it seems that a lot of what you have participated in could be considered poly if you would like to consider it as such. Have you come to this realization? Usually swinging comes with a set of "don't fall in love or get attached" rules. Did you think what you were doing was different from that? Have you realized that maybe you are poly in orientation? or could you really go back to monogamy and be fine with it? Go back to non-emotional sex and be fine with that? It sounds to me like you are in this for life now by the accounts of what you have been doing already? It doesn't sound like a poly lifestyle would fit you.... what do you think?

Ya, the whole sharing an account is discouraged generally, but if its just the male you writing then perhaps if the female you starts writing she could start her own account. It promotes clearer communication, and clarification on the readers end... thanks.
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