After talking with dh and doing some reading, I have come to realize I'm dealing with a lot of envy here, some jealousy, a little insecurity and some anger. The anger is not directly related to or caused by either of my partners. I am feeling more envy than anything else.
Now I do feel better because I understand what I am feeling and can take steps to deal with it.
~If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.~