Well...there's something we never considered nycindie
, having two profiles! It not only affords us individuality here but increases the chances of someone being attracted to one personality or the other! We also recognize the need for time for either of us to pursue and nurture a young relationship but we suppose the need to approach each totally independently is governed by that individual relationship. We are not in a hurry, just like monogamous dating it's more likely we will find a partner by not avidly searching!
We will likely both use this profile until my wife Sandi is comfortable with responding directly, she dislikes expressing herself in writing and at this point we may not need a second profile. Whoever is writing/responding will sign their name if that's acceptable? We have been reading quite a lot but we have only just scratched the surface and will want to read/discuss quite a bit more before we consider adding a partner.
While we agree swinging and poly relationships are two vastly different things there are enough similarities/parallels that "lingo/jargon" crossover a good bit, much like we're seeing on some of the other sites we mentioned! Liking, disliking or even discriminatory use of labels or judgmental views with the intent of putting on a particular look for anyone "outside looking in" would be as bad as the faux paux of using lifestyle or vanilla to describe what IS a choice of lifestyle! It's all semantics.
We don't participate in "group sex" or "indiscriminate sex" but we do have sex with friends, much like people do everywhere (except those folks are single or monogamous, not poly or swinging!) but we all get lumped into the same group anyway, however that's the view many people in the outside world have of us, as do some in other alternative lifestyles "groups" not excluding this one. We also have some very deep platonic friendships from our time in the Swinging world so the close parallels are there whether anyone likes it or not. Unfortunately that does make it VERY tough for outsiders to separate the two. Apparently we're not well enough indoctrinated yet because how the outside world views us doesn't affect our choices or how we view others. We honestly believe that all "alternative lifestyles" would benefit from the similarities/parallels, increased numbers and support of others that have faced the same form of discrimination. The LGBT, swingers etc are all linked to some degree and becoming more so, solidarity does work!
It's very possible that we're not a good fit here but we just don't see the need to "defend" ourselves or our choices to the outside world but it appears there may be the need to do so in this forum. We don't wish to offend anyone in any way so we will consider removing our profile and participate elsewhere, if we do hang around we will remain silent for the most part and just read. We seriously have appreciated all of the information and advice!!!
John...with Sandi contributing from the chair next to me!