When anyone talks about a "primary" being replaced or moved to a lower status that's blasphemous talk....which is a little funny because a good majority don't believe in such terms or hierarchy but indirectly function that way.
I'd think if it was revenge or pay back you'd be able to see that quite clearly...unless you've been doing it so long it just a habit or something.
During your counseling didn't they touch on the 4 R's . Wasn't the topic of her possible cheating thoroughly discussed?
what did you mean " basic concern for another human beings feelings" are you talking about you or her? I was talking about her "new" motivation to fix this.