i know the feeling
I can completely understand where u are comingg from. I too am in a triad relationship with a married couple. I have lived with them for four years and we too share a home, finances, and childrearing. We love eachother dearly. I also feel very jealous at times of their relationship. I have spent many an off night lying alone and wondering why I feel this way at times. I want my female spouse (I am not a secondary but considered an equal spouse to the male) to be happy and I don't mind them having sex or anything. So when I think long and hard about it I think that I am jealous of the years they had tgogeether before I arrived , her status as his legal wife, and that she is the mother of his children. Also, because of these things I feel he tries hardrer to keep her happy because if they split he has a lot more to lose. I also am jealous that she may display public affection towars him without consequence whereas with myself I must be careful that I only do this around people who are aware of our sitch. Perhaps it also has to do with the fact that they both cheated on me about two years back by both of them lying in order to sneak off to a swingers club in vegas for three days with another couple. They said they were going to a carshow with his folks. They knew I would have refused them to go as I made it clear that if I were to live with them swinging was out of the question. So to this day I worry that they are talking about me in private, and perhaps plotting against me. I am jealous that they shared this elaborate lie and plan together to fool me. It makes me feel that he loves her more and thinks that she is more precious than me. Also, he calls me his hot little mama and says that our sex is infinitely better, but I know that he holds her on a pedestal for being his wife and the mother of his childrren. I can't compete with that. So sometimes I come away feeling like a concubine. Anyway I guess what I am saying is that I empathise and understand. Those are some of me reasons for beingg jealous sometimes. U are not alone. I am sorry I rambled and shifted focus on me for a bit. I just so relate and needed to tell u my story.