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Old 01-01-2012, 10:27 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Hi there and welcome.

In reading your post, it seems you are focused on sex, or having multiple sexual partners. I am not seeing anything about relationships and emotional involvement, which is really what poly is all about (although there is room for casual sexual liaisons, too, but polyamory is more than that). So, maybe swinging or being open is actually what you want. Or slowing down the sex part and nurturing relationships, if that's preferable. Do you know what you want?

You also seem really attached to the term "secondary" (and also, therefore, "primary"). Is there a reason you wish to have a hierachy?

I am just asking these questions for you to get clear about what you're looking for, so we can help.

As far as a DADT policy, there are a few threads here you might find illuminating:
To Share or Not to Share?
Don't ask, Don't tell policies
Communication on date nights?

Just a start. Do a search and I'm sure you'll find more.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
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