I read your post 2 times and something struck a chord with me... thanks for your insight and introduction. I hope you find the support and understanding here that you are seeking. I know I have although my attempts at polyamory have not gone smoothly, at least I no longer feel alone or that no one understands how I feel.
I feel at least many people here do understand though of course everyone has their perspective and it is refreshing to read them. I have many a good AHA moment reading here.