In an earlier post, you mentioned partial relationships - this really resonates with me. A lover, SW, ended our sexual relationship because he did not want partial relationships. He is looking for a primary partner too. I would have preferred keeping our sexual relationship but he could not reconcile seeing me and looking for a main partner. It was hurtful and disorientating for him. You may have similar feelings. It may be necessary for you to be truly single to feel comfortable looking for a primary partner. It was for SW. Some people do great being secondaries while having no primary partner. Some people don't want primaries. Others do fine being a secondary if they have a primary of their own. (I suspect I may fall into this category.) Still others have multiple primaries or don't acknowledge hierachial relationships at all. If it proves necessary for you to end the sexual and/or emotional parts of your relationship with your SO, I'm sure he won't be happy about it but he will support you and understand why you need to take this step. I did and SW and I remain very good friends.