Originally Posted by paintscribe
Yeah, I originally began as dating both of them. It faded into just him, with her calling me girlfriend.
Things were great for about a month, then jealousy blew things up. They've worked on alot of stuff. He has a medical condition which makes some resolutions difficult. I'm not sure how much that was used as an excuse. It had seemed like they had been just working through things and have had a few rough patches. She lost her job this summer, but has been employed for the last 3 months.
I thought they were doing much better than this..... I kinda felt blind-sided.
They originally had an open relationship because she insisted on it. I hung out with them as friends until I realized I was in love and wanted to be part of their family. I asked her first, since I figured she would be the one who might say no. She was thrilled with it, and gave me my first girl kiss.
I am so sorry. It sounds like their relationship had problems before you became involved. I was in a somewhat similar situation ~ problems in the relationship that neither had fully acknowledged with my presence forcing them to address these issues. (Also great for only about a month before jealousy reared its ugly head.) I am now out of the picture sexually. While having problems, divorce does not appear imminent in their case and the three of us are working to rebuild our basic relationship.
You say that you acknowledge you may not have relationship with him even in the event of divorce. If it were me, I would advise that you not automatically rule it out depending on compatibility. My two loves are both responsible wonderful people, and were drawn together due to shared core values. That said, they are so dissimilar in so many ways, I am shocked they've managed to function together for so long. Long way of me saying that perhaps you and your bf are more compatible than he and his wife.
Still, I think you are very wise to remove yourself from the picture for awhile and let them sort out their issues alone.