Out of curiosity, is it common for there to be two primaries? I guess I find it hard to picture two primaries in a relationship where you have been together for a very long time, and another where you have been together for a short amount of time.
I'm not saying it's excusable to be rude and treat you like you are worth less. I'm just trying to grasp the idea of multiple primaries.
Edit: I don't mean the OP in particular. Four years is quite some time.
In a relationship with Armani for ten years. New to the poly world and excited. Living in New Orleans...