Thank you bookbug, you helped me understand what I wanted to say here.
If I heard this story, about those behaviours, and you were in a relationship with only one of them, I would say it sounds abusive. I would not be happy in a relationship where I got laughed at, and my needs were not considered.
I am all new to this, and my experience has been almost exclusively mono. But that was my first thought upon reading it.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)