What a tough situation. I think you've got the right idea with the break, and three months sounds like a reasonable stretch of time to me. Loving someone means wanting the best for them, and if you believe that losing his marriage would not, in fact, be in his best interest, then the loving thing to do is to give them the space they need to try to fix this.
Their myopia is kinda worrying. How could it fail to be obvious to either of them that him pouring emotional resources into his relationship with you is, at the least, a complicating factors in their struggle not to break apart? And why on earth the resistance to counseling even in the face of what sounds like imminent divorce??
Even if they can't work it out, stepping back now will at least put you out of the blast zone if their relationship does suffer a critical meltdown.
As for how much to step back exactly, that's a tough question. I would say keep it to the gaming sessions and emails. Make it a real beak.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 12-30-2011 at 04:32 AM.