I don't know if your wife and you asked them to add the HSV 1+2 tests to your regular tests ever during STI testing, but do read those other threads, and remember that up to 80% of people with it don't know they have it.
I consider HSV-2 to be a virus that I don't want, but really I don't care if I get it, and the only reason I'd rule out a partner based on it is because my boyfriend's agreements with his wife would necessitate a segue into a non-intercourse relationship if I do contract it, and frankly, that would really suck for me, as I happen to really enjoy that stuff
I'm glad your talk with your wife has helped you feel better. I just always advise to make sure you do NOT have it before "vetoing" somebody who cares enough about their health (and YOURS) to specifically ask for it, or to honestly share that information and be upfront about something that isn't the easiest thing to share with a potential partner.
I am guessing that lots of times people who refuse to date people who have HSV-2 or HPV (especially men, since they can't be tested for HPV) have a pretty decent chance of being positive for something that they don't even know about. (Remember, about 1/5 women and 1/8 men DO have HSV-2)