This is a question that goes way beyond "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". There is an entire academic field devoted to asking that very question. It is a complex one indeed.
But what you seem to be addressing in your suggestions doesn't address emotional vs. sexual needs, it seems to be addressing society's sexual repression of women. Those are two very different subjects.
So here's my Cliff's Notes version of the larger question and what it entails.
1. Recognize the difference between gender and sex.
2. Agree on what constructs gender and sex.
3. Recognize societal programming in both genders, what their causes are and what purpose that programming has served (I notice that you ask females to dispose of societal programming but not males)
4. Recognize the biological programming of both genders.
5. Learn and understand the complex relationship between societal and biological programming.
6. Educate people on all of it.
There's a lot of good reading out there on this subject from many feminist academics and authors. Judith Butler's "Gender Trouble" addresses this with the idea of "performativity" which applies to feminist and queer theory. It also probably applies to polyamory as much of how we conduct our romances in life is performative- that is they fill a constructed role in our society.
Another really good read is "Evolution's Rainbow- diversity, gender and sexuality in nature and people" by Joan Roughgarden.
Last edited by Ceoli; 11-11-2009 at 04:53 PM.