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Old 12-29-2011, 10:24 AM
urmila urmila is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: chennai, India
Posts: 56
Default my dilemma

I am south indian married woman 42, husband is 45. have a son 20 doing his graduate course in another town. I am a home maker and not working outside, basically shy and introvert, but once i get to know a person over a time, i can be free. He is quite opposite and ours is monogamous marriage and until now neither of us had any affair. Now I am in a peculiar situation and am afraid of the future
Recently my cousin(40) has got a job in our town and we had invited him and his wife(38) to stay with us until they gets settled in her new job and finds a decent place to stay. They don’t have any children. Both of them are extrovert like my husband, and all of us were getting on well and had almost accepted them to stay with us until he is working here. suddenly, my husband sprang a surprise telling that He is attracted to my cousin and wants the 4 of us to be a family, and all the time assuring me that he loves me very much and cant think of living without me, also that he will be miserable if I dont accept in which case they have to move out. I dont doubt about his love and i am sure he wont start an affair if i dont accept. Ours is a very conservative traditional society, and was shocked and he told me to think about it. I have not given any answer to this

Meanwhile i took this up with my cousin, he confessed that his wife also expressed the same sentiments. He is sure that she wont proceed further without our consent. And another shocking thing he said was, after his wife revealed her sentiment she told him that she will be happy if he can develop a relationship with me. After that he confessed that he has started seeing me differently and found that it is not a bad idea at all, and dont want to leave us, at the same time assuring me that everything depends on me and nothing will be done behind my back and explained that it is not like just wife swapping like what we have read about, and it is all of us genuinely loving each other. He said it is not a very strange idea and there is even a word for that type of living –“POLIMORY” and gave me some links for me to explore and know more about this. This is the first I have started exploring.
And I am still confuse more than that worried and getting anxious about our future. I have told both my husband and cousin that I need more time to consider this. I honestly don’t know how to deal with the situation. I hope as I explore more I could come to a conclusion with some guidance from people who have adopted this life style.
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