Thanks for your reply redpepper! Will will look through the "tagged" area and do more reading, we realize that Annabel's link is only one of many sites and views vary from person to person. Unfortunately we're not too up on navigating these sites...hence the direct open question!
We don't take jealousy, insecurity, codependency or any other potential threat to a healthy relationship lightly. We have both discussed our exploration into the lifestyle at great length and given a great deal of thought to the above issues, we will continue that approach in our efforts to connect with someone. We also recognize that pride/ego are the cause of many failures, not just interpersonal relationships!!!
Our foray into swinging wasn't/isn't approached lightly, it is/was a lifestyle choice, we also view polyamory as a lifestyle choice...nor would we just abandon either if things as they often do become difficult. We may decide to continue to "play" within the small circle of friends we have, none of which wish indulge in a more committed relationship...swinging after all is about sex not love even though deep friendships often are created. Obviously any continued swinging would be with the full knowledge of any/all partners just as it is now, they would also be welcome to join us. However it's obvious the dynamic of that relationship remains to be determined until/if we find that partner.
Unless we misunderstand the definition of polyamory there is a VERY wide range of sexual interests, relationship dynamics and interpersonal arrangements both monogamous and non-monogamous. If we are unable to find an appropriate partner or we establish a relationship that fails we would be returning to what is already a very healthy relationship and as primary partners we intend to maintain that relationship with or without another partner.
We both feel this is the next evolutionary step in our relationship. Often you hear people expound on how "special" their relationship is and just as often you see those relationships fail for reasons that seem obvious to everyone but the victims! We do indeed have something incredibly special, the love, trust, security, of our relationship surpasses anything we have seen elsewhere in or out of the lifestyle. We are both mature in our reasoning and we communicate clearly and concisely with each other, disagreements are few but in the nearly 5 years (3 married) we've been together we have never "argued" preferring instead to discuss our differing views and arrive at a middle ground comfortable to both. We share a depth of love and passion for each other and life in general that we would like to share with an appreciative partner. We honestly if somewhat naively believe no person can have too much love!
Last edited by swmnkdinthervr; 12-29-2011 at 01:15 PM.