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Old 12-29-2011, 07:28 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Be careful what you say about jealousy. It can creep up. It isn't a useless emotion at all its a cluster of emotions that can tell us some very meaningful and deep messages and that is a blessing. Its our guts telling us that something is wrong and we have to figure out what. Usually its as simple as fear, threat and a need of ours not being met. To ignore jealousy means that the issues aren't discussed and dealt with.

Poo pooing jealousy as if it were in some way for people that are unable to control their emotions is also dangerous. I have known perfectly happy and solid relationships that have destructed because its members thought it weak to be jealous and when in fact they were they were ashamed and hide it to the point where they broke down and all hell broke loose. It was too bad because if they hadn't of been so full of pride they would of gotten to the bottom of their issues much sooner and might not of broken up.

So you are going from the "lifestyle" (by that I assume swinging) to poly now. Would that mean you can still take it or leave it? Would it still be a lifestyle choice? Its hard to go back to being a mono couple after. Have you discussed that?

There are lots of great threads here to read if you look in the tag section. All the ones of any substance in one area were tagged. If you have read around you know that, but if you need any direction to anything specific, please ask. While Annabel's link is a good one, its only one perspective and one source, there is so much to learn from so many places. More so than ever. If you find anything good, I'd love to hear about it.
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Last edited by redpepper; 12-29-2011 at 07:31 AM.
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