Originally Posted by bookbug
I'd wondered if quads were possibly more stable given equal number of men and women...
It's not the number of people involved or poly configuration that make relationships stable, it is the people themselves. Just about any configuration can work well if the players are healthy in their approach, self-aware, honest, and willing to do the necessary work.
In your case, the healthiest and most nurturing thing to do, for yourself as well as for them, is to walk away and let them tend to their difficulties. You leave the door open by finding strength within yourself to take care of your needs and simply allowing for possibility; waiting for them and putting your life on hold is NOT the way to do it. Doing so will only keep you stuck and, eventually, resentful.