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Old 11-11-2009, 03:31 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default The Sexual element

We'd like to get a thread going with respondents from both genders. So guys, please don't overwhelm this ! Ladies - we NEED your input & thoughts on this desperately.
Humans are sexual creatures. Despite how anyone would want to try to paint it, the sexual component of polyamory is an important part of the desire to embrace the lifestyle. It is NOT the only one - but an important one - and one where most of the pitfalls lie.
It seems to be a fact (yes - exceptions always exist) that the sexual needs & desires of males are very different from females. Herein lies the root of most of the "complications" of alternative lifestyles as well as the vast majority of more conventional relationships.
Here we'd like to make a statement of observation - based on MANY years of close observation, intimate relationships & conversations etc.

" In a 'relationship" the primary needs of each gender are.......
Males > Sex first, emotional needs secondary
Females > Emotional needs first, Sexual needs secondary "

Again note the disclaimer of acknowledging exceptions to any rule.

So........ if, as a species, we agree to the accuracy of these trends/observations, should we not ask the question " What can/should be done about the obvious conflict" ?

We'd like to start the conversation by offering a possible starting suggestion for both genders.

Be attuned to the ladies emotional needs, voice explicitly to them that you DO acknowledge them, and try to learn better how to meet those needs and discuss it frequently !

Try to dispose of societal programming about your gender. Embrace the natural sexuality you were gifted with at birth. The term "slut" can well be (and should be) a term of endearment ! A true orgasm (or a few) can be a huge boost to both your physical and emotional health.

Ok - so let's hear it from you all !

C & K
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