I think you just happily lost the battle, to win the war.
The only successful ( in my mind) poly relationships I know of,...Involve people who haven`t a clue about all the poly-bible rules, who Franklin Veaux is, or any of what they call 'popular poly'.
They just fell into it. No expectations. They had a genuine interest to be respectful to each other, and when it stopped working, they wouldn`t force the issue.
10 years later, they are still together. 4 people, who just live their lives.