Balance is best achieved when there's good communication. This made me think of a friend of mine who was in a primary partnership for six years and the last couple of years were fraught with lots of drama and hurt. They still very much loved each other but it was also pretty clear that things weren't working. But instead of breaking up, they allowed their partnership evolve to a more secondary kind. They had been living together. He moved out and got his own place and they continued seeing and loving each other, but with the understanding that their relationship was no longer about living together and all of the other pieces that go with it. It was a bit of a bittersweet transition for them. They definitely had pieces of their relationship that they mourned, but they still had each other and they were able to let a lot of that pain and drama go.
I always think that a great deal of our pain comes from clinging to how we *think* things should be instead of letting go and allowing things to be the way they should be.