A little intro: Hubby and I are in an open marriage, but really believe we may do well in a poly family. He has a FWB that is starting to prove a little more than 'just friends', and I am all for bringing her in. I don't know her well face to face, but we've talked online and over texts a bit. She's a very sweet girl, a little younger than myself and my husband. Anyhow, she's still thinks it's strange that I'm happy with my husband being with her, so we don't talk much yet. End of intro!
My husband and I sat down and talked quite a bit about polyamory. I also showed him a few poly sites to get a better understanding of what it was.
A bit surprisingly, he didn't have any trepidation. He did say he may feel jealous if I fell for someone else, but is willing to work at it because (in his own words) "it really wouldn't be fair if I said only women". We had this discussion before with the open part of our relationship and he was okay with physical, but an emotional connection is what he is concerned about. It's something he's willing to discuss and try to overcome, if jealousy occurs.
Hubby did ask a pretty good question, though. We may steer more toward a polyfidelity triad/quad in the beginning, and he asked 'well, we bring another girl into our family, how will we deal with her wanting a child? Or if we bring in another guy and he wants a child with you?'. Obviously that's a pretty down the line kind of question, but it did bother him and was pretty legit. Anyone have experience with this?
We have decided to talk more about this, meet our local poly community, read the do's/don'ts until we fully understand, and THEN see where the road takes us.
I hope that doesn't sound stupid; we just don't want to rush into something and damage what we already have, or hurt those we will eventually care about.
I appreciate your input and support while we tread this new path!