This is why I love posting all of my confusing feelings on here... All of your opinions, perceptions, and insights really help me focus and sort through what I really
She does want to work on getting comfortable with me playing without her. We are HOPING to either be able to go to the club together again or to find another couple/single woman to join us just so we experience it together first. I find this totally fair. I'm not necessarily happy about not being able to play with other women since I will probably go to the club with just my husband before all of us can go again, but I'm not upset about it either. She and her husband have never played separately so this type of situation is new to her. Since Keith and I do play separately, it was easier for me to accept the idea of her being with others without me around. I'm trying to remind her that sex is not what makes her special to me and sex is not what makes me special to her, so it is not a threat if we have sex with other women. We will see how long it takes for it to sink in.
@AnnabelMore - I am already seeing the differences when we are actually together; it is when we are apart that nothing feels different. I know there are many reasons for this, and it is just something I have to adjust my expectations of. I've always pretty much been the center of attention in my relationships and it is just an adjustment to having this more equal set up. Her husband is actually being amazing through this whole thing making sure she and I get to have alone time, helping me plan a surprise date for her (going to dinner and a play in a few weeks), etc. I think he is more comfortable with this whole shift than we are and is trying to gently push us along.