[Castalia]

I managed to lift my mood enough to enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas day with the family; it was nice and the kids really enjoyed themselves. On the other hand, my mood seems to have slipped back into crap. This time of year is always a little difficult but this year everything just compounded. And with the anniversary of my dad's death coming up, I don't expect to feel better anytime soon. Gamerboy and I hung out with friends last night, (MadScientist and another friend), and I thought I could handle it but after they left my heart ached. It's not that I still upset with him, I think its just become too much. Knowing that I have feelings for him that may never go anywhere.