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Old 12-28-2011, 02:04 AM
padlina padlina is offline
New Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Poland
Posts: 4

An update:
My gf didn't agree to slow down anymore with her relationship with other partner - she's to scared she can lose it. To be honest I contributed to it with a few break up/get togethers and sending a few false signals... Wish I was not so emotional in those matters. Also I was told, I didn't make it clear what it means for me to slow down, kinda true here. Still need to work on better communication.
So I decided to put on my big boy's pants (sounds good when You are male ) and accept consequences of my actions like adults do. After all it's either this or losing my relationship with her.
I decided to accept her relationship with other partner as it is. I even decided to support them the way I can (airplane tickets might be expensive ). I am using some CBT techniques to fight my jealousy issues, and it looks like they work so far.
She agreed to stay in Poland longer, which removes one huge (probably the biggest) fear from the list of my concerns and makes it bearable for me - need to make sure about it though (that she stays - English is not our primary language so we usually have to doublecheck if we understood each other right ).

You could have a lot to say about this I think and I think its great that you are asking again. I wouldn't let this go if I were in your position. It shows what they are made of and the way they respond will be indicative of how you will be treated in the future. That is a huge bit of learning you could go through and if I were in your position it would make or break whether or not I would want to stay with her.
I am scared of being to submissive to be honest, I know I have tendencies to be. I still need to find a way to express that if I feel that my willingness to work on our relationship is abused, I will quit.
The other partner seems to be quite mono set actually and seems to have problems finding himself in this situation (I didn't help it sending him a stupid text when I was really pissed off about all this My short temper again).

I am anxious and full of hopes. When I read how great it can be when poly relationship works out it gives me the will to work on my relationship.

Started reading Your blog thread RP, but I am just on 10th page It's fascinating cause reading Your entries allows me to identify with what You feel while some of PN's behaviors You describe there (I know it was long time ago ) ring bells in my brain. This helps me to understand my gf position.

Last edited by redpepper; 12-28-2011 at 03:46 AM.
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