I understand your position, I really do.
I think it is good that you feel empathy for her, but will go do what you want. Just be careful not to 'ask' permission from her. (Some of your wording seems that way to me..)
These things can get confusing, no doubt. I find a good rule of thumb, is to figure out what I want first, as I only control me.
From there, I can explain what I can, and cannot do for others, rather then 'ask' what they want me to do.