Originally Posted by km34
Welcome! Your user name caught my attention, and upon reading this post, I think I am going to enjoy reading what you have to say around here!
My only question (for now): You mention that you have supportive friends, but then you say ^this^. Do you have some friends who wouldn't be accepting of the poly life or are you just not ready to tell everyone? Simple curiosity... Some people in my life know, some don't based merely on how I think they would react and the level of closeness I feel to them. I can also completely
relate to the whole 'hard to find good candidates' situation because my husband and I live close enough to our hometown that if we put ourselves out there too much the rumors would be flying, and when we are ready to tell our parents WE want to tell our parents, not have them find out second, third, or fourth hand because of people talking!
Anyway, enjoy the boards, enjoy the people, enjoy the experience.
Thanks for the welcome. To be fair, the two or three friends we've told have all been people who later joined us in our bed; to be honest, we sort of started off in the swinging lifestyle, and over the years have simply matured/evolved into poly, which I think is for the best. That said, we really don't talk about what we are. We've never and WILL never tell our parents, as it's really none of their business. As for the rest, well, it's partly like you said, the fear of rumors.
For my part, as well, I've always been a little bit afraid to pursue this lifestyle for fear that women would necessarily mistake me for a cheating douchebag. It's hard for people to understand that you can love your partner, be committed to your partner, and also find someone else attractive and interesting on a personal or romantic level. Fortunately, things have recently heated up with a family friend whom I've known to be active in the lifestyle for some time; she's been a really good person to learn from, and she and my spouse get along great.
As far as the rest goes, well, we're still figuring that out. I'll be trying to sort out how I got to this place in my life over the next few weeks, and it sounds like I've found a good place to do it. Again, thank you for the kind words, and I hope to see you around